A therapist urged her to get her anger out on paper by writing her cousin a letter detailing how she felt, and after she wrote it, she was to rip it up, burn it or otherwise throw it away. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Erin also included the correspondence between her cousin and herself, for readers to also hear the perpetrator's side. So many children will be protected because of her." "Erin's Law" is named after Schaumburg native and activist Erin Merryn. Do you still stay in contact with him? But her nightmare was just beginning. It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." 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She is the founder of Erin's Law, which is a group advocating for child sexual abuse awareness. Learn More. So, she forgave him. I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. Little did I realize, that by moving, I was getting that much closer to the next perpetrator in my life, she said. If they feel they are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation, they can call home and use the code word, something as simple as, I forgot my math homework at school. . The same year I was born in 1985 was the first year the development of the first CAC in America was born in Alabama. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. In the wee hours of the night, Ashley's uncle "Richard" (not his real name), who lived in the house with his niece, appeared in the darkened room. Children learn all kinds of safety lessons in schools, like how to deal with natural disasters, fires and strangers. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular videos. Merryn: Yes. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. This law could have given me the ability to know I would be believed, that this is not a secret to keep, and how to report it. I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. Who were they? 2019 TIME USA, LLC. Eleven states have passed the legislation. I always feared he would come back. He'd conditioned and kept me silent for two years, so he knew he could get away with that behavior, even with so many people around. Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. Hes grown into quite the little man and doesnt want me near the bathroom when he showers or gets dressed and I respect that. I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. Im terribly concerned about that, said OBrien. The yearly videos had educated me, so I knew to tell the stranger to keep his change. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). By breaking your silence you are reclaiming your voice. After graduating, Erin went on to earn her Masters degree in social work, but from time to time she would still consult her little pink childhood diary. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. Erin Merryn from Elgin, Illinois, was just weeks shy of her seventh birthday when she was raped by an adult neighbor. He was the father of my best friend. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. Nightmares. Now she's on a quest to make sure lawmakers across America hear what she has to stay. Call it what it is: penis and vagina.. It wasnt until Erin was 13 and found out the same thing was happening to her little sister (then age 11), that she decided she needed to speak out. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. I was keeping this secret with my best friend because he was also abusing her, Merryn said. February 7, 2023 by Cindy Erin Merryn is a Global Advocate for Child Sex Abuse Prevention For years, Erin Merryn was too scared to speak up about sexual abuse. [3], She graduated from Schaumburg High School in 2004[4] and earned a Bachelor of Social Work from Western Illinois University in 2008. Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. Merryn worked with U.S. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her . I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Our Spectrum News app is the most convenient way to get the stories that matter to you. Please join Erin Merryn in her crusade to protect children from sexual abuse and donate to help her with her travel expenses today! Author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Merryn kept her confusion to herself. She wasn't always successful. Around the time we were getting ready to move away, my friend had a birthday party. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. Do not use the phrases good touch and bad touch, says Merryn. Merryn said she was never taught to speak up about it, so shekept it a secret. Winds WNW at 10 to 15 mph.. Merryn is a national spokesperson for the National Children's Alliance, becoming the first survivor of child sexual abuse that went through a Children's Advocacy Center to speak on national television about her experience.[1]. Statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. I survived it and eventually learned how to thrive from it by breaking my silence and putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic. She was also afraid she would lose her innocence. Pat Quinn on Thursday signed a new law extending sexual abuse education in Illinois schools. After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). In April, 2010, Illinois State Senator Tim Bivins agreed to meet with Erin and he became the first state legislator to sponsor Erins Law. Since that first meeting, Erin has met with hundreds of state legislators, testified dozens of times in front of State Senate and House committees, served on several committees to draft bills and implement the new laws, plus speaks regularly to schools, agencies, conferences and media nationwide. What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? She broke down and cried and said Erin's Law could have saved her as a child, but instead she only got the message from her abuser, who she knew, and stayed silent. I was told repeatedly by my cousin that I had no proof, that he would deny it, that no one would believe me. The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. Two of those children were my sister and I. She published a book called Bailey No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey's unusually gentle interactions with her three children. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. My abusers threatened me, and I believed them. Forgiveness is what set me free. However, Merryn said this time the perpetrator was an older cousin, someone she had viewed as a brother figure. Immediately I thought I was being asked this question because she already did not believe me. Carrot has 281,000 instagram followers. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. On Thursday, Quinn signed "Erin's Law" at the Children's Advocacy Center of North and Northwest Cook County in Hoffman Estates. With every passing week, and with every visit, Erin gets closer to her goal. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. [5] Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words she'll never forget: "Brian's gross!" It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryn's little sister, too. Alaska Dispatch: When you decided to confront and start corresponding with your cousin, how did it go at first? In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. The brilliant minds behind putting in place a center that had a home away from home feeling to give children a sense of security and comfort.At thirteen was the age I walked through the CAC. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. will then mail or hand the parents or responsible adult family member the Megans Law information. [2] The family pressed charges, and the cousin eventually confessed to three counts of child sexual abuse. He did respond admitting what he did and saying he is using his past to not make the same mistakes now in his life. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. I found (the) freedom and peace I had longed for. Merryn says her abuse ended when the family moved to a new neighborhood, Schaumburg, Illinois but she took her secret with her. MORE: Moms and dads, can we talk about stranger danger? (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. Anyone who has felt victimized, ashamed, isolated, and silenced by their abusers will receive a road-map in the book for self-discovery, forgiveness, and empowerment to overcome trauma and live fully and fearlessly for today. Instead of putting their daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges. The family pressed charges against Brian, who ultimately admitted to three counts of sexual abuse. These monsters are living in all of our backyards., (Tip: Offender Locator is a great app to have on your smart phone.). Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. Merryn: There is so much shame and stigma attached to sexual abuse. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. She came to me after I had been abused for two years and told me words I never expected to hear, that she too was being abused by the same family member. (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images) Im very concerned about the possibility of grooming or the losing the innocence of our young children. The woman behind the bill, Erin Merryn visited Paul V. Moore High School in Central Square on Friday, making it [] CENTRAL SQUARE, N.Y. (WSYR-TV) Erin's Law its now in 37 states . I remember walking out into the parking lot and feeling this sense of relief.Seven months later I would return back for the first time since my interview to begin a group with other girls who were survivors in January 1999. Read more Her dad singled me out during the party. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. Unfortunately for many survivors they never see their perpetrators held accountable. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. Merryn: This wasn't bad luck. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. And saying he is using his past to not only overcome what happened, but to also?. Made me pinky promise not to say anything my best friend because was. And with every passing week, and the strength to speak up it. Protected because of her. her goal I found hope and healing and! 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